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Fostering - Can You Do It?

Could I really foster?

There is no doubt if you decide to become a foster carer it will change your life as well as the lives of the children and young people you bring into your home. You might think that to become a foster carer that you’ll have to make a lot of changes in your life. This isn’t actually normally the case.

  • You don’t need to… own a large flat or house
    The size of your home and whether you’re renting or a homeowner doesn’t matter. You just need to be able to provide a bedroom for a child. If you’d like to offer to look after brothers and sisters, they might need a bedroom each, but that’s not always the case.
    If you wanted to offer foster care to babies less than 14 months old, you don’t always need a spare room, as long as there’s room for a cot in your bedroom, this is fine.
    You are not able to become a foster carer if you are in temporary accommodation.
  • You don’t need to… stop working full-time to be a foster carer
    If you work full time and can’t reduce your working hours but want be a foster carer, you still can. You could offer short-break foster care. Or you could consider long term fostering as this is a very planed process.
    You only need to be at home all the time if you agree to foster a child under 12 years old. But even then, if you work from home, this might be OK.
    If you want to foster care for children or young people older than 12, then you can still work for up to 18 hours a week or more if your work is flexible.
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You don’t have to be...

  • You don’t have to be… a certain age
    There’s no upper age limit. It doesn’t matter how old you are as long as you’ve got the stamina to care for children. You do need to be over 21. We will consider your application based on employment and retirement age practices.
  • You don’t have to be… married, be in a Civil Partnership or have a partner
    As long as you can provide a stable home life for children and young people, it doesn’t matter what your marital status is. All we will want to know is if you’re in a relationship, whether your partner will help to provide a warm and secure environment for children and young people too.
  • You don’t have to be a… woman
    Don’t think being a man on your own rules you out. Single men can be foster carers too. Fostering is about the skills you have to help support a child – like being a good communicator, listening and more often than not, having a sense of humour.
  • You don’t have to be… straight
    Your sexuality really isn’t that important to us. We will want to know, but we ask everyone. We’re looking for optimistic people with the energy and patience needed to look after children.
  • You don’t have to have had… your own children
    You don’t need to have had children of your own to know how to make a foster child feel safe, secure and cared for. You’ve probably had contact with children and young people either through friends, family or your job, but even if you haven’t spent lots of times with them, you enjoy looking after children and see them developing in confidence.
  • Your own children don’t have to… have left home
    Comings and goings, door slamming, music, TV, complaints about homework and constant texting. Sound like normal family life? This is what children who need fostering crave - normality.
    As part of your decision to become a foster carer you’ll need to talk to your children that live with you. They’ll need to understand why you want to do it and support you. You might want to foster but are worried about the effect of fostering on your own children, in which case there’s support available for you and your children.
  • You don’t have to…be in perfect health
    Everyone becomes ill from time to time. Hospital appointments and visits to the GP and dentist can fit around foster children just like they fit around your own children and all the other things you do. Only when an illness becomes a long term condition or effects your ability to care for children or young people, would this become a problem in you wanting to foster.
    Being disabled is not normally a health condition. It’s a fact. It’s a way of life and there’s nothing to stop a person with a disability looking after a child that needs fostering just because you have a disability.
    Of course, we’ll assess all potential foster carers health in exactly the same way, but if you feel physically able to look after a child or a young person you probably are!
  • You do have to be financially secure to become a foster carer as you cannot rely on the fostering allowance as an income and there will be times when you may not have a child or young person in your care.
  • You do have to have a clean criminal record when it comes to being legally cleared to work with children.
    People who have a conviction or have been cautioned for specific criminal offences against children, or some sexual offences against adults, are not able to foster.
    Other convictions do not automatically rule you out. If you want to talk to someone about this, in confidence, then contact us.
    You will be able to discuss this in more detail at one of our information sessions or with an experienced social worker when they come to see you in your home.
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What do foster carers actually do?

On a really practical level you’ll need to mange things like the school run, preparing and cooking meals, getting the shopping in, household chores and just generally keeping your home ticking over as normal.

Looking after children that need foster care can be tough. There’s no beating around the bush. Fostered children can display difficult or challenging behaviour, not because they’re “bad” kids but usually because of the instability in their lives.

If you have your own children or are close to other peoples’, you’ll no doubt have seen children flare up or suddenly get upset. The main difference with fostered children is that you might not know straight away when it’s going to happen and why. You’ll need to learn to pick up on what has triggered an outburst or certain behaviour so you can reduce the chances of it happening again. And you’ll need to be confident– in the first instance – to reach out and try and calm a situation down. It might be that all that’s needed is for you to sit and listen.

There are some records that we ask foster carers to keep about the children in their care, but it’s not bureaucratic form filling, it’s simply about how a child is progressing in terms of their school and their social and family life. Foster carers also help to maintain relationships between a child and their own family. This will need careful planning and managing. A foster carer also needs to be able to meet with us (people from the fostering service), school staff and health care professionals.

Everything that’s expected of our foster carers is made very clear in the information on a child we give to our foster carers before they agree to foster that child. Our foster carers are given a full briefing, usually at a private meeting, about a child that needs fostering. We will never pressurise foster carers into looking after a child that they don’t feel comfortable with. You will be aware of your own strengths and weaknesses and can make the decision.

If you decide to become a foster carer you become a childcare professional. You’ll receive free training and ongoing support, a fee and a weekly allowance per child that you foster. Click here for more details on the training and support you’ll receive.

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What do foster carers say about fostering?

It teaches you so, so much. It’s difficult to explain what fostering does for you as an individual but I think as a foster carer I have learned so much about myself, about life, about people, and I think being a foster carer has taught me that much sooner than if I had had to experience it in just living my life.

I have a fantastic link worker who is so supportive and I have taken part in many different training sessions to keep on top of things. I really wish I’d started fostering earlier.

I became a foster carer because I believe that you should give something back to your community. I love children so I thought fostering could be for me

- Comments taken from the Fostering Network’s “All About Fostering” publication.

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Page Last Updated: 14 January 2013

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